Blue jello and Christmas carols
by Bane144
Summary: Yay! Random, stupid stuff! Read if you want a good laugh...


BLUE JELLO AND CHRISTMAS CAROLS

**A/N: Yay! More randomness! I usually write funny, random and stupid stuff when I'm stressed out, and right now, I've been really stressed. Hence all the random stories... Hopefully it doesnt go on for too long, all this stress could possibly kill me. Anyways, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own CSI. If i did, i would be rich and not have to go to school...enjoy and please r&r!**

It was a normal day in Las Vegas, Nevada. Actually, it was night, since it was past Eight O'clock and it was dark out. The CSI Unit, usually busy solving some case or another, were bored. It seemed that no crimes were being committed!

CATHERINE: You know, we really should get a T.V or something in here. It's really boring without one.

WARRICK: It's a coffee room, Kath. It's not supposed to be fun.

NICK: Maybe we could tell jokes? Have you heard the one about the guy who-

SARA: If I hear another bad joke, I will come over there and strangle you!

GRISSOM: It would give us something to do…

BANE144: You people are pathetic! There's so much to do!

CATHERINE: Who are you?

SARA: How did you get in?

NICK: Why are you wearing a tin foil hat?

BANE144: I'm here because I'm bored and I want to write something stupid and funny, I got in here by opening the door that you people so kindly left open, and I'm wearing a tin foil hat because if I don't wear one, the aliens will be able to get inside my head.

GRISSOM: The tin foil hat thing is already taken. Wasn't some horse person in the Artemis Fowl books the one to come up with that?

SARA: I think his name was Foaly.

WARRICK: I think he was centaur, not a horse.

CATHERINE: Same difference.

BANE144: Not really.

NICK: Either way, the tin foil hat thing is already taken.

BANE144: Anyways… I'm here to un-bore you.

GRISSOM: Un-bore isn't a word.

BANE144: It is in my world.

SARA: Right…

CATHERINE: We're being led by an idiot with a crayon!

NICK: Wasn't that from the Artemis Fowl books too?

CATHERINE: That's where I'm reading it from, you moron! (whacks him with the book)

NICK: No fair! She got a book!

BANE144: Do you want a book too?

NICK: No…

BANE144: Then stop complaining, you moron! (whacks him with a book)

NICK: Oww…

GRISSOM: This is fun to watch!

WARRICK: Tell me about it!

BANE144: Grissom, we need to change your image.

GRISSOM: But I like my image the way it is!

BANE144: You're too much of a science geek. You need to loosen up, take some time to look back and stuff. How old are you?

GRISSOM: Umm…45?

NICK: Dude, you don't even know how old you are?

GRISSOM: I forgot.

WARRICK: Sure you did…

BANE144: Well, its time for you to go through your mid-life crisis. I think if we put you in a leather jacket and get you a motorcycle, you'll be cooler.

SARA: I agree.

CATHERINE: Me too.

GRISSOM: But I don't want a motorcycle…or a leather jacket!

BANE144: Too bad.

NICK: She's right, you know. You would look good in a leather jacket. Not as good as me, but whatever…

WARRICK: And girls dig a guy with a motorcycle.

GRISSOM: But I don't want girls to dig me!

NICK: Dude, that sounded sooo wrong coming out of your mouth…

SARA: Nick, if you say 'dude' one more time…

CATHERINE: She'll kill you.

SARA: And I'm not kidding this time.

CATHERINE: Seriously.

BANE144: Sara, no killing Nick. Not until we're done giving him a makeover. Then you can do whatever the hell you want.

WARRICK: (gasp) She swore!

BANE144: No duh, moron!

NICK: (gasp) She called you a moron!

BANE144: Dear God, I'm surrounded by guys with the brain capacity of three year olds!

GRISSOM: Three year olds actually have a large brain capacity.

BANE144: We really need to take that book of random facts, don't we? (takes away book of random facts)

GRISSOM: Hey!!! That was my favorite book!

CATHERINE: That really says something about the kind of reading you do…

SARA: Have you ever tried reading Captain Underpants?

NICK: The one about that guy?

WARRICK: Yeah, I think I've read that one!

NICK: He was one messed up dude…

SARA: What did I say about the dude thing?

WARRICK: Not to say it?

CATHERINE: Bingo.

BANE144: I think I need to bring in the fangirls…

GRISSOM: (gasp) NOOO!!! Anything but the fangirls!

SARA: Why do you have such a fear of fangirls?

GRISSOM: Have you ever met one?

SARA: No…

GRISSOM: They're scary. Very scary.

CATHERINE: It's a bit like your unnatural fear of toilets, Sara.

SARA: IT'S NOT UNNATURAL!!!

NICK: It's a toilet!

WARRICK: They're not that scary.

SARA: But, they make loud noises and go all swoosh! It's very unnerving for people who don't like loud noises, and hate things that go swoosh!

GRISSOM: We need to stage an intervention!

NICK: For who?

GRISSOM: For Catherine!

WARRICK: We need to break her blue jello eating habits! (points to Catherine, who is sitting in the corner, eating blue jello)

BANE144: Is it so bad to want some blue jello?

SARA: It is when all you eat is blue jello…

GRISSOM: She's eaten the whole stock of blue jello!

NICK: How dare she!

WARRICK: We MUST stop her before she finishes it! (they attack Catherine in a mad attempt to get at the jello)

CATHERINE: NOOO!!! THIS IS MY JELLO!!! ALL MINE!! MINE I TELL YOU, MINE!!! I SHALL EAT IT ALL!!! YOU HEARD ME, ALL OF IT!!!

BANE144: And I thought I was weird…

RANDOM PERSON: I like blue jello too!

GRISSOM: We must rid the world of people who eat blue jello!

BANE144: Why?

NICK: So that we can take it all for ourselves!

WARRICK: It is a scientifically proven fact that people who don't eat blue jello are 20 more likely to successfully take over the world.

BANE144: Maybe that's why all my other plans didn't work…

SARA: What did you say?

BANE144: Umm…nothing! Nothing at all!

SARA: Sure…

RANDOM COW: I like cheese!

BANE144: You're a cow, you can't eat cheese!

WARRICK: Maybe it's a special cow?

RANDOM COW: I'm very special! points to lighting shaped scar on its forehead

NICK: OMG!!! IT'S HARRY POTTER IN COW FORM!!!

RANDOM COW: Who's Harry Potter?

CATHERINE: YOU DON'T KNOW WHO HARRY POTTER IS?! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN THESE PAST THREE YEARS? LIVING UNDER A ROCK?!

RANDOM COW: Does living in Alaska count? I can show you pictures if you want?

SARA: No you can't. This is all a hallucination brought on by eating too much blue jello.

BANE144: Really?

CATHERINE: Yup. I get them all the time! The jello makes good things happen! (they all stare at her) Not _those_ kinds of things!! Jeez…

GRISSOM: Great! So, to sum it all up, Catherine is obsessed with blue jello, I'm going through my mid-life crisis, Nick is saying 'dude' too much, and the author is completely off her rocker. Did I forget anything?

BANE144: I don't think so…

WARRICK: What exactly is the author of this story on?

BANE144: Hey! I _am_ the author!

SARA: How can you be the author and still be in the story? Doesn't that break some all-important rule of writing fanfiction?

BANE144: Not really…

CATHERINE: It's all about time.

BANE144: That's right! gives (Catherine some blue jello)

CATHERINE: What's the jello for? I was listening to the song by Lillix!

BANE144: Oh.(takes the jello away)

CATHERINE: MY JELLO!!!(attacks in an attempt to get to the jello)

WARRICK: DIE FROGS, DIE!!!

NICK: What is wrong with you people today? Am I the only sane one?

GRISSOM: I think it's quite safe to say that you are.

SARA: (bursts into random song) All I want for Christmas is a hippopotamus, only a hippopotamus will do! No crocodiles or Rhinoceroses, I only want Hippopotamuses!

GRISSOM: Christmas isn't for another six months!

SARA: There's no law against singing Christmas carols…

CATHERINE: Actually, there is. (points to fine print on wall)

WARRICK: I thought you were busy attacking Bane144?

CATHERINE: Oh, right. (attacks bane144)

BANE144: You just had to remind her, didn't you?

GRISSOM: When did we paint this room green?

NICK: It's been that way for the past five years!

GRISSOM: Really? I always thought it was white…

BANE144: I…am…surrounded…by…morons!

WARRICK: Are we done here?

BANE144: Almost. I just need to add in _one_ more thing.

SARA: What?

BANE144: And they all lived happily ever after, solving crime and stopping criminals till the end of their days…

CATHERINE: It's just like a fairytale…

NICK: That will never come true…

GRISSOM: Not as long as we all wear blue…

WARRICK: Goodbye, cruel world…(dies)

SARA: Why did you have to kill Warrick?

CATGERINE: He was cool!

NICK: And his hair rocked!

GRISSOM: And he never ate blue jello!

BANE144: And he was irrelevant to this story, so I got rid of him. You can do that when you're the author of a story.

CATHERINE: You're mean!

BANE144: And you just realized that?

CATHERINE: Umm…yeah.

BANE144: Wow, you _are_ stupid.

SARA: Tell us something we don't know.

NICK: Like why Catherine is obsessed with blue jello.

BANE144: Because blue jello is cool and it doesn't get enough recognition by the general population.

GRISSOM: So the whole point of this story was to promote the eating of blue jello?

BANE144: That, and killing Warrick.

WARRICK: Well, maybe I liked being alive!

BANE144: Too bad. Now, get back to being dead!

WARRICK: Maybe I don't want to! (bane144 beats him with a book until he goes back to being dead)

WARRICK: I'm going; I'm going, jeez...calm down

BANE144: Well, it looks like I've done what I came here for, so I'm going to leave. Bye! (she leaves)

**THE END**


End file.
